Romance novels do ruin your love life

Arecent study suggests that reading too many romance novels could ruin yourchances of developing a real relationship. Chicklit writers and experts debatethe claim
On rainy days like these, it is a guilty pleasurefor women to curl up with a good romance novel where the sex is as steamy andhot as the cuppa coffee they might be relishing. As the perfect, fabulously richhero sets the heroine's loins on fire, the readers enjoy a vicarious thrill.Andwhen the hero and heroine climax simultaneously every time they unite in bliss,the female readers may heave a sigh or two themselves. The glamour and sheen ofthe fantasy world, unfortunately, rarely translates into real life. So much forMr Darcy.
Dissatisfied?
So how do bonkbusters, chicklit and romance novels affect a woman'sperception of a real romance? Recently, an article on www.ksl.com stirred up adebate when Mormon life coach Kimberly Sayer-Giles suggested: Men are addictedto pornography as it produces a euphoric drug in the body. While women arestimulated more by romance than sex, so when they read romantic stories theyfeel the same addictive chemical release that men do. According to psychologistDr Juli Slattery, whom she has quoted, many women who read these novels showdissatisfaction with their marriages or relationships.
So do theexpectations from a real relationship take a turn for the unreal? PsychologistDeepti Makhija agrees, "Romance novels affect the way you perceive relationshipsas there is no logical reasoning behind them. Women expect that 'He should loveme, no matter what. The relationship must be perfect.' It's not functional orpragmatic. Both partners need to take equal responsibility and make adjustmentsin the relationship."
Emotionalturbulence
"Given how conditioned we are to believe in '... andthey lived happily after', women subconsciously think that everything must goaccording to a perfect script," explains Makhija. "And when your partnerdeviates from that perfect script, it creates an emotional disturbance in therelationship."
Since this problem is easy to dismiss by saying thatno one takes chicklit seriously, think about the assault of influences on adaily basis — whether it's Bollywood's love stories, or Danielle Steel'sstuds, the subliminal message about 'true love' can be damaging. Makhija says,"The key is to remember that there is no such person who is perfect, and to notcatastrophise by thinking, 'How could this happen to me? It's the end of theworld.' This can be seen as women who cling to the notion of Prince Charming andtend to ignore potentially great prospects that come their way.
Happy endings?
So canthis damaging idea of perfection extend to a couple's sex life? Our sexpert DrWatsa finds the notion amusing. He says, "Mainly women read it so that they canfantasise and be happy. A woman can share the fantasy with their partner andthey can play it out together. Even if he's not that good, the fantasy gives hera better high. As it is, she's dreaming of the other guy while in bed."
If a woman can get past the tame Mills and Boons and enjoy erotica,Dr Watsa says that their fantasy maybe translated into reality.
Chickwit
Thepublishing boom has seen a rise in the number of desi chicklits churned out. Sohow do authors feel about the claim?
Anuja Chauhan, Author of the Zoyafactor
I read a lot of romance novels. In fact, I think we shouldbe more demanding. It's good to have healthy levels of hygiene and respect, andyou should ask for that. Don't share a bathroom, there goes your romance.Instead of reading all those novels, prioritise your romance.
Madhuri Banerjee, author of losingmy virginity and other dumb ideas
I don't think readers are lookingfor a perfect man. I've been married for eight years and my husband is no wayclose to that! You have to be happy with what you get. Women who are educatedread because it simply gets them out their boring lives. I'd say it's the menwho have unreal expectations!
Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan, author ofyou are here
I think women have the sense to distinguish betweenfact and fiction. As Indians, we have grown up seeing our parents make arrangedmarriages work, we are willing to make compromises. 97 per cent of my friendstalk about having a great sex life! Either they're incredibly lucky or maybethey feel it isn't right to talk about it openly.